Why the perfect girl doesn't exist!

So I havent blogged for a while but I have just been super busy... Dublin (which I will blog about later) work (wshich I won't bore you with) and Christmas (which again I will blog about later).

I went for drinks with a male friend a few days ago. He began talking about the perfect qualities he would like in a girlfriend. And it made me think, for years now men have spoke to me about the perfect girl. These traits are often not found in many women and yet we still try hard to be this way even if this means pretending to be something we are not. Traits such as laid back and relaxed, there are very few women I know like this and those that are, are generally not looking to be in a relationship.

 A common complaint I have heard often, about myself and my friends girlfriend, "why do we women over analyse everything?" Well forgive me for one moment, but I think I have the answer to this? We do this because we try so hard to fit the male version of the perfect girl, the one, but in doing so we must analyse everything you want but in doing so we contradict ourselves. We are laid back, but we also try to show we are interested and we care! We analyse things to a dangerous limit to try to be what you want. Things that are often attributed to the 'time of our months'. It is crazy and nonsensical but what do you expect when for centuries we have been told how irrational our sex is. 

For a long time i over analysed everything myself, I suppose I still do now, sometimes. But I think I am getting over that, no more games and trying too hard, if you dont like me I think this is tough. 

Every girl should be like this we shouldn't have to change to impress the opposite sex. If you moan when your fella wants to go out then do so, if you over analyse every little detail then why pretend you don't? If you spend days and days without make up and doing your hair let him see it if he doesn't like it that's his problem not yours! Luckily I have found a boy that likes me even more when I spend days in my pj's eating my own body weight in junk food, without make up and doing my hair. He loves that I'm sometimes mental (yes I know I am crazy) he says it's just because I care. 

Look when you find someone that appreciates you exactly how you are for all your crazy insecurities you will know what I am talking about... and Trust me he is there for you :)

Be happy with who you are not what he wants you to be :)

It's all for you

I Haven't blogged for a while but I have been super busy with work and learning to drive and things.
Quite a bit has happened since last time as well...
Firstly, me and Rory went to York. It's half way so we just met for the day we was going to stay over but with it been York University Graduation week we couldn't get a (cheap) hotel.
We went shopping then had a look round York Minster. What a beautiful building. It was sunny clear skies but it was very cold and Autumny

We also found this absolutely beautiful little pub all lit by candle light, old Gothic style pub, also the home and birth place of Guy Fawkes I don't know how much to believe of that though. 

It was also my Graduation this week, the ceremony and the ball. i was so nervous for the ceremony having to go up on stage collect my degree, I was positive I was going to fall. Luckily I didn't. 

It was a proud but terrifying day. I had to wear heels as the gown was far too long on me everything was just a little bit too big so I looked like a child playing dress up. It was an excellent day, shared with family and friends, those that mattered the most. I got a lovely cake and a new charm for my Pandora from my parents, I got a beautiful bunch of flowers from my boyfriend and even a couple of cards, a very lovely one from my boyfriends parents. 

On top of that we had a graduation ball. I wore a very simple black maxi dress, it hung low at the back and had a slit up to the knee for easy walking (it was needed) and I had the most amazing shoes ever, red and glittery an awful lot of Dorothy comments were made but I don't care they were beautiful and I was tall for a change.  Rory looked gorgeous in his grey suit white shirt and red tie (to match my shoes). Its not an excellent picture and you cant quite see my beautiful shoes but I will upload them when I get them!

All in all it has been a very busy but exciting couple of weeks, with some boring i.e. work bits in between. 

I also need some little stocking fillers for my boyfriend, he has a main present but its not something he can open really but I'm not too sure what to get him... Any ideas appreciated?

I'm comfortable

I got this absolutely gorgeous necklace from a beautiful lady. Her daughter is stick thin and I have put on a teeny tiny boat load of weight in the last couple of years and had loads of very pretty dresses that I can no longer squeeze my backside into so I gave her them some of them I have worn no more than once. I got this necklace as a thank you. Pandas are my favourite animal in the whole world. 

Back to the most important matter. The weight i have gained. 

Most of which I am attributing to my boyfriend and how comfortable around him I am now. When I started university I was around 7 and a half stone and a size 6/8, yes I had a hip bones that you could see. At 5"4 that didn't look all that good if I am honest. But you see if so many times you just feel like you have to be that tiny.But I don't think it looks all that good. And my boyfriend, having known me since I was thin, thinks I look much better now and as worried and body conscious as I sometimes feel I know subconsciously that it does look better. I am a size 10/12 depending on the shop of course, I don't know how much I weigh, if I did I would obsess and lose loads of weight so I found the best solution is not to know how much I weigh. I eat healthy, most of the time, but I don't deny myself the food I love, Chinese with the boy and pizza. So I say who cares if you don't fit into your size 8 jeans any more as long as you can learn to feel comfortable in yourself. 

Do you feel comfortable in yourself yet?

My Old Friend

"Some people go to priests, some to poetry,

I to my friends"

Virginia Woolf

I caught up with an old friend today. I have known him since I was 5 years old, (that's 16years) and it made me think. 

We don't see the people we care about enough. For example, I haven't seen Jonathan in over a month, I find it very weird calling him this I never have as long as I have known him. Even though we went to different secondary schools, he went to a erm more private school than I did, we still stayed in contact, different universities and barely seeing each other over the three years we were there has not made it awkward when we see each other, I suppose this is a true sign of friendship, nor did our friendship end when me and a friend pushed him into a lake out of a tree. But I suppose this is true friendship.

The same can be said for my friend Laura, we lived opposite each other for 10 year walked to school and caught the bus together everyday yet now we barely see each other once a month even though I moved we still live in the same village.

But we try to make time for coffee once every couple of weeks or so but its more and more difficult to do this now. Both working odd hours sometimes unsociable hours and having other commitments we barely have time to see each other yet when we do it was like it was only yesterday. This is the sign of true friendship. Someone that is there when you need them makes time and doesn't cancel last minute without a real reason (real reasons being death or severe illness) someone that doesn't matter when you last saw them but you never run out of things to say to each other.

On a different note, I got my bracelet fixed today :) I got it for my birthday this year and the little heart fell off the end, think I wore it too much, but it's fixed now and I love it :) it is so delicate and feminine not exactly my usual taste but so lovely.

My sister wrote this to me the other day:

 I love my sister so much don’t know what I would do without her we have ups and downs but we always work stuff out in the end.. Even though she was always right in the first place! She’s like my role model and I really do adore her! love you

Picture was way back when I had lovely bright red hair I do miss it but its too much hard work.

I don't know what to say. She steals my clothes, my make up and soon she will steal my shoes. She makes me laugh, yes sometimes it's more at her than with her, but I love her, we are totally different in many ways but I think that's why we get along so well. She is my beautiful little sister and I don't know what I would do without her :) 

Well its halloween soon and were having a little party/ get together next week and I've decided to go as Bellatrix LeStrange (she is one of the death eaters from Harry Potter, not many people know who she is) and I'm making the costume myself, it's not going well I can't sew if I'm honest I don't know what I was thinking saying I would make it.  I will post some photos and things when I have finished it :) I keep stabbing myself while trying to sew the lace arms and that annoys me so I give up. 

I finally bought a lovely new scarf to go with the hat and gloves my boyfriend bought me last year. The scarf was only from primark but it is so warm and comfy. Rory also bought me a new Nintendo DS so I wouldn't be bored while he is still at Uni. It's the little things I appreciate most. The picture is a little bit blurry but I was dying (playing spore) and I tend to move the DS in the direction I want to go even though I know that doesn't help. 
I have missed Rory this week even more than normal i think but I am seeing him Friday so It's not too bad and the DS has really given me something to do while I have been sat on my own. It's a year and a half tomorrow that we have been together officially shame we can't have a nice tea or something.

Insecurities

To every girl that ever reads this,

You are one of natures greatest accomplishments. You posses the energy needed to restore and heal the world. If you were ever made to feel stupid or immature as you sing your heart out or lip sync to those songs you just shouldn't like or even know if you were ever judged for wearing your skirt a little too short or dying your hair a ridiculous colour. This is why we feel insecure in who we are. 

Pressure from teachers, parents, boyfriends, girlfriends, TV, films and magazines to be the perfect person, the perfect female, is why girls feel insecure. 

Its ok to be smart and pretty. It's ok to be bigger than a size 10. The need to starve ourselves to match the fashion setters, the magazines and the popular girls is why we are girls are insecure. 

It's ok to work hard for what you want not what your parents want you to be. It's ok to make and achieve our own goals. Not work towards what people want us to be. 

Because it's better isn't it to be well formed. Better to be slim be slight. those devastating eyes, 

so perfect vulnerable and young (Mrs Quasimodo C.A.Duffy)

The reason we are insecure is nothing to do with our selves and who we are it is our experiences. Its the external pressure why we feel insecure how can we ever be happy with who we are if it fails to make everyone around us happy? Before we can stop being insecure we need to learn to be happy with ourselves, to do things that please us regardless of how it is perceived by others.

My Boy

So this boy is my whole world. He is my best friend and my boyfriend and I can't wait to start my life with him. He was one of my closest friends before we got together and for a while we spent nearly every day together. He was there and now I can't imagine my life without him. Not only is he really chuffing cute but he is very thoughtful and caring always know exactly what to say :) RTB

My first blog

So this is my first blog and I dont know how to start so I will go straight into it. I am really starting to enjoy the time of year where you get to wear your hat and your gloves especially since mine are so cute (thank you Rory). I absolutely adore pandas they are possibly the cutest animal, possibly even cuter by how endangered they are.

 Now getting to that time of year but I need a new scarf to go with it. I never used to like to cold weather but its growing on me. Getting to wear big snuggly jumpers have hot chocolates and get to be really close in bed (well when I get to see Rory anyway).